Ask Sarah & Paulina: Sick Kids and Visitation

This week we got a great question about how to handle a situation when it comes to visitation when the child(ren) are sick.

The question reads


Great question Fellow Step Mom!

My answer is that if the illness isn’t major like a cold then Sherika comes to our house and we nurse her back to health. I let Carlos (Sherika’s dad) take the lead in taking care of her and if she does come with a serious illness (as in the past Sarah did send her over) she is quarantined to her room to rest and recover. I take care of our kids and am extra diligent on disinfecting and making sure the house is extra clean. We use this method when one of our own bio kids is sick as well to ensure the other kid (and Sherika if she is over) doesn’t get sick.

Since our co parenting relationship growth Sarah now keeps Sherika home (and we may take her for 2 weekends in a row after that) when she has a more serious illness because we both agreed that it doesn’t make sense for her to be travelling when she needs rest or spread the illness to other kids or family.

To be honest I used to get so annoyed when Sherika would come over sick, potentially getting us sick (which was really abut me feeling inconvenienced). I literally took offense and saw it as Sarah being spiteful. (I’m embarassed to even admit that out loud lol). But now I don’t fuss about it because I realize any of us could catch it from anyone on the street or more likely in our case from daycare, especially around flu season.

There have been times when my kids do bring home a virus from daycare and passed it on to Sherika (despite our best efforts to quarantine and clean) who then takes it home to Sarah who then has to deal with it. So in the end it I stopped focusing on being angry or annoyed at what was inconveniencing me and re focused on more important things like making sure Sherika was getting rest and recovering from her sickness. This is actually a great time to show your step child how much you care and overtime this can help to solidify your relationship with them.

Hope my answer helps you out.


If you have a co parenting challenge or issue and need some advice connect with us via social media or email us at





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